That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
