This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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