I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize