I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
