I got chris browned last night
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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