Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
