I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
