I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
