He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
