youre lurking in front of me
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
