summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
