is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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