I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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