For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize