The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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