im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
