batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize