so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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