hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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