Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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