You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
