I think im going to throw up on grandma
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
