I think I am morally bankrupt
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
