eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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