Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
