speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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