He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
