Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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