I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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