I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
