apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
