***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
