Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
