2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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