Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize