Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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