If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
