Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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