dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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