I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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