There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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