Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
