I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
