is your mom at the bar?
Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize