id be glad to
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Randomize
