Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Randomize
