8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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