If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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