I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
