omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i barfeds in our rink
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
