I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
