the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
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