CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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