I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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