She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
wow bdsm is so cute
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