Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize