She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
