Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
