I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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