ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize