You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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