So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
not ubering you a puppy
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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