i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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