two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
