the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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