ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
