You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
