4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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