just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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