I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
