Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize