oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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