summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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