he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
