i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
