did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
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