This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
