If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Randomize
