I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
