it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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