Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
